Strategies for Dealing with a Challenging Colleague

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Strategies for Dealing with a Challenging Colleague

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Nursing is one of the most team-oriented professions out there. Every day and in no matter what setting, nurses collaborate with an entire interdisciplinary team. This team—which includes physicians, social workers, case managers, patients, family members, patient advocates, physical, occupational, and speech therapists, nursing assistants, and other nurses—must work together to improve patient outcomes. In the most extreme cases, collaboration is necessary to save a person’s life.

So what happens when a colleague doesn’t contribute positively to this crucial interdisciplinary collaboration?

Aside from detracting from your work satisfaction, challenging coworkers can disrupt the coherence of the medical team, which can have dire consequences for the people in your care.

Dealing with this kind of coworker isn’t an easy task—but it’s certainly a task that matters. Research from the Harvard Business Review indicates that the quality of relationships between workplace team members is the single most important factor determining whether that team succeeds or fails. As we’ve seen, “success” or “failure” in healthcare can have life-or-death consequences!

With this in mind, it becomes clear that addressing a colleague who is challenging, toxic, or otherwise negatively impacting the workplace is a necessary and often game-changing step on your end. In this article, you’ll learn at least a few different strategies to employ.

What Constitutes a “Challenging” Colleague?

If someone asked you to think about a colleague who is difficult to work with, you may not have a hard time coming up with a name. Most of us can easily recognize a challenging co-worker based on our own emotional or even visceral response to interactions with them.

Research suggests that challenging colleagues often exhibit several common traits and difficulties:

  • Creating unnecessary conflict and/or distracting drama
  • Gossiping, complaining, and exhibiting other behaviors that contribute to a toxic workplace environment, such as bringing their own personal problems onto the job
  • Undermining others
  • “Passing the buck” and failing to take personal responsibility
  • Prioritizing a personal agenda over the team’s common goal
  • Degrading or detracting from the team culture, or setting a bad example for others

Whether you can recognize these traits in a workplace peer, someone you report to, or someone who reports to you, the impact is clear: such behaviors are detrimental to patient care and can threaten an organization’s mission and brand reputation.

Simple Strategies When Dealing with a Challenging Colleague

Communicate Honestly, Openly, and Privately

Whenever possible, communicate directly with your challenging colleague. Have this conversation in an appropriate place and time—not, for example, at a patient’s bedside or busy nursing station.

When talking with the person, remain calm, open-minded, and curious. Take the view that you are approaching this conversation with two main goals:

  • To express how their behavior affects you, and
  • To understand where they are coming from.

Avoid assuming bad intent—many of us simply aren’t aware of the impact or impression we’re making on others. This person may be more open to productive and constructive feedback than you may think, especially if it’s delivered in a direct yet non-accusatory way.

Self-care may be essential here. Rehearse the conversation in your mind, practice some deep breathing beforehand, and ultimately take care of your own mental and physical well-being. It’ll make you a better communicator as well as a better colleague.

Ask for Feedback—About the Challenging Colleague and Yourself

Share your stories and experiences with colleagues. Do other people feel the same way about this colleague? Do they have specific strategies or suggestions for dealing with this person? During these conversations, focus on gaining a wider perspective and figuring out your next action steps. It’s important to stay mindful so that these conversations don’t devolve into mere gossip sessions.

Also, be mindful of your responses and behaviors. Are you being respectful in your interactions with this colleague? Is it possible that you exhibit some of the same behaviors or traits—whether at work or outside of work­—that you currently disown and therefore resent in others? Ask your colleagues about where and how you can improve your performance at work. This way, you can make sure you’re not judging this other person against a standard you yourself aren’t living up to.

Assume Objectivity

Above all, remember this: you can’t change other people. And whether the previous strategies work, it’s often essential to change your own perspective about your challenging colleague. At the very least, this can help ease some of your stress on the job.

There are a few things you can do to assume objectivity:

  • Ask yourself if you’re taking their behavior more personally than necessary. Realize that their bad behavior is ultimately not a reflection of you but rather a projection of their own beliefs and thoughts.
  • Imagine that you had a friend going through a similar experience at their job. What advice would you give them?
  • Minimize the amount of interaction you have with this person (if possible).

Speak to Your Boss

Except in cases of egregious malfeasance or unethical behavior, it’s best to attempt conflict resolution on your own before bringing up the issue to your immediate supervisor or human resources representative. Then, assuming your attempts do fail, you can present your concerns while at the same time showing a willingness to take initiative and problem-solve on your own.

While this top-down approach should generally be viewed as a last resort, sometimes it’s the most effective and necessary way to make an impact, especially if other members of your team are experiencing the same frustrations.

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